Today after a full year of having our daughter back, present in her life and in ours, things are better. Codependency will rear its ugly head from time to time but today I can flag it and know what it is. I know it is not a place for me to go. It brings chaos to my life and to the others around me. Today I am prepared to let her have her experiences in her life and to allow her to feel and learn what she needs to in HER life. I am now prepared for hard days and tough lessons. I am prepared to stand firm in my boundaries which are good for me and very good for her. Without boundaries, we set ourselves and our loved ones up for disappointments and expectations that are not attainable. Today I am happy that the relationship that we have is one of trust, love, honor and most of all respect. Do we have low times, absolutely but we can go through that with the correct tools and grow stronger on the other side. We have learned that boundaries are vital in our relationships and that when boundaries are kept codependency behaviors are minimized. I am by no means saying that I do not struggle with these but I can see growth. Having a conscience contact with God I can work on codependency and boundaries with her and anyone else in my life.
It states in Step 1 that we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable. The word alcohol can be substituted with any person, place or thing that makes our lives unmanageable. Just for today I can live joyous happy and free. Today with 28 years sober in the program of recovery, I can still struggle with codependency and boundaries. But there is always the hope of a new day that I can be better than the day before. My goal is to remain teachable on my good days and my tough days. One day at a time is how I live my life.