And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone
~Big Book, page 84
Be still and know that I am
~Bible, Psalm 46:10
My trust in a higher power that wants me to survive and have love in my life, is what keeps me moving forward…
At a recent speaker meeting and BBQ at BRC Recovery I had the pleasure of listening to an incredible story of experience, strength and hope delivered by a young woman I have grown to know and admire. I was struck by her courage and enthusiasm, as well as her honesty and vulnerability.
She talked of her own very real struggle with alcoholism and addiction, and ultimately her story of treatment, healing and recovery. This was powerful and moving in its own right- however, the portion of her story that has lingered with me is her honesty about her experiences with other forms of addiction. Food, exercise, shopping, working, relationships…
Several times speaking to the crowd she said “I’m sure you all can identify with this…” and then shared an instance of her struggle – in recovery – with other things she has used to “change the way she feels.” I looked at the audience (and at myself) and saw a sea of nodding heads. If we aren’t drinking and aren’t using, why do we need to change the way we feel? Why can’t we just be still? What is the genesis of this discontent and distrust?
As I type this I am sitting on an airplane. We are experiencing turbulence. It’s pretty bad. It’s pretty scary. The Captain has directed all of us return to our seats and buckle our seat belts. In other words- be still.
When life shows up, when things get scary, when the winds of change are howling, when our hearts and minds are on fire- can we remember to buckle up and trust the captain? To trust the process? To return to the deep roots of recovery? Can we not attempt to once again futility attempt to manage our very human emotions?
My prayer is yes, and so is my experience. Not every time, but often enough to trust. Thank you, God.