Change – one of the most inevitable aspects of life. We grow up, we make friends, we lose friends, we move, WE CHANGE. Despite the amount of “growing opportunities” that my Higher Power has presented in my path, it seems as though the process of walking through change remains just as uncomfortable! And as people say, we, as alcoholics and addicts, don’t accept change very well.
The past few years of my life have been constant change. Surrendering to the fact that I would never be capable of “drinking like a lady” was the first major shift for me, leading to the acceptance and faith in a Power greater than myself, who I choose to call God. It feels as if my years in recovery have continued to push me into transitions, growth, and change ever since I took Step Three with a sincere and willing spirit.
Although I mean it when I say that transitions remain scary, even terrifying at times, the ability to feel and to know that God has a bigger plan than I could ever orchestrate on my own HAS become a part of the process. Don’t get me wrong, by no means was this an easy shift in perspective, as it came with much trial and error. Throughout all of my many transitions at BRC, I have been faced with the desire to call the shots, to take back my will, and to push God aside. Each of these run-ins with self have led me to find that God will always present the next chapter when I have fully accepted the lesson that my current circumstances have gifted me. This has been my experience each and every time.
As much as I tend to fret and worry about what “this” or “that” will look like, I always come to find that the “things that came to me when I put myself in God’s hands were better than anything I could have planned”, just as the Big Book had promised me when I embarked on my journey in recovery. From where I was standing almost four years ago, I never would have imagined that life could be this sweet. To be able to play a part in the journey of so many as they learn to live a life of integrity and happiness was nowhere in my plans when I initiated this chapter of my life, and to be trusted in such an important role today with a company that saves lives is nothing I would have ever imagined for myself.
By allowing myself the room to grow in recovery and walking through fear of change, not only have I achieved knowledge and life experience, I have found confidence in myself as a woman and strength that I didn’t know was within me. Every transition that has come my way has deepened my relationship with my Creator, filling me with gratitude and an understanding that God truly does want me to be happy, joyous, and free. Now that, my friends, is the greatest transition of all.