A Life Worth Living

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” William James

“Don’t give up before the miracle happens” AA Slogan (Fannie Flagg)

The mind is a powerful thing — capable of learning, understanding, reasoning, and creating many things. But for years, there was one silent question that plagued me. Why can’t I stop drinking?

I don’t know exactly when I stopped asking myself that question, but I did. I had resigned myself to the facts before me. I would always drink. That’s just how it was going to be. My mind couldn’t conceive of it ever possibly being any different than that. And on I went, literally drinking myself to death. I got to a place I thought only I knew. I could no longer endure living with alcohol, but I knew deep down, I could never survive without it.

What happened next would be a blessing beyond measure, but at the time felt like a whole new depth of despair and devastation. At 40 years old, I found myself at 11503 Parsons Road. There, I was to be told the truth. And for the first time in my life, I became able to hear it. The inexplicable question of why I drank was finally answered, and a journey began. The next several months were not without pain. From that pain, came the unexpected, a fragment of hope. A hope I saw in the women who stood before me. They demonstrated strength, belief, and faith… qualities I longed to possess. So I watched them, I listened, and followed directions. It sounds so simple now.

Two years have passed since I arrived on Parsons Road that day in September. My life looks nothing like I ever could have dreamed possible. My children are healthy and thriving, relationships with my family are being rebuilt, I have a job with a purpose, and I can stand on my own two feet. Above all, the internal peace and freedom I so desperately sought, is now reality.

For years, the words “I am grateful” never crossed my lips. Today those same three words seem immensely inadequate.

 

long-term sobrietySusan Colig
Program Director
BRC Women’s Program

 

 

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