Attitude is the one thing we can control in every situation. You’re not a victim of everything that happens unless you choose to see yourself that way.

What is my responsibility? I am NOT responsible for my alcoholic loved one’s drinking, sobriety, job, cleanliness, diet, dental hygiene, or other choices.

Progress can be hard to recognize, especially if our expectations are unrealistically high.

Forgiveness is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. Can I identify areas I have been unwilling to let go of and that are hindering my own happiness?

We have to learn to stop obsessing over control. Once we see that our attempts to exercise power are based on illusions, it is easier to let go and let God.

Is there an area of my life that I treat as though it were too important to turn over to my Higher Power? My way has seldom worked in the past.

Things that are urgent are rarely important, and that things that are important are rarely urgent. Don’t lose sight of what really matters in recovery.

“Always be a work in progress.” Consider praying for an attitude of progress, not perfection, in the process of your loved one’s recovery.

Ask yourself questions to maintain your authenticity. “Has maintaining an image become more important than my emotional freedom today?”

The word detachment is often misunderstood. For me, detachment is the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs.

Today, with the support of Al-Anon members, I am able to face the reality of the past, not to place blame or wallow in self-pity but to learn from it.

Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Step Eleven: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Step Ten: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step Nine: We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step Eight: We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Seven: We have humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Step Six: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step Five: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step Four: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step Three: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the to the care of God as we understood Him.

Step Two: We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Many times, we have boundary problems because we lack the initiative to propel ourselves.

The problem with envy is that it focuses outside our boundaries, onto others.

Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose and what they stand for. Proactive people do not demand rights, they live them.

Deciding to set boundaries is difficult because it requires decision making, evaluation and confrontation, which in turn, may cause pain to someone we love.

If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation.

We must learn to respect the boundaries of others, and in that process, to be aware that they are making choices based on their own freedom.

We are blessed to walk shoulder to shoulder with you and so grateful to be celebrating the magic of Christmas with you all!

One key to serenity in your life is dependent upon the ability to determine what you can and cannot change. 

Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another.

Prolonged substance abuse causes consequences – the First Law of Boundaries states that we must allow our loved ones to reap what they sow.

When we allow events to unfold organically, we find a balance in doing our best.

Making assumptions is rooted in fear and often used to replace the need to communicate. In our study of the Four Agreements, we learn to overcome this urge.

When we stop taking things personally, it can be lifechanging. It sets the stage for us to ask for what we need, and to choose to respond rather than react.

In recovery, we are taught to say what we mean and mean what we say. But how many times have we broken the agreement to be impeccable with our word?

Family recovery teaches us new tools. Will we continue to commit to leave our comfort zone in an effort to expand and renew this life of recovery?

Over time, we learn various tools and practices which allow us to cultivate a relationship and communication with a Power greater than ourselves.

Setting an intention, creating boundaries, and practicing mindfulness can help to restore the family unit. Instead of being driven by fear, find your peace.

As we move through this newfound life in recovery all will not be smooth sailing. We can make the choices that will grant us happiness.

Self-care is often something that has been neglected within the recovering family system.

We must live our lives one day at a time. Our yesterdays have no importance except as experience in the making today more fruitful.

Though we come to Al-Anon to deal with a specific problem, we do not always realize that developing ourselves could be the answer.

My ability to be present in my life today is directly dependent on my prayer and meditative communication with God. How can I practice presence?

Always keep in mind that today – not tomorrow – is your sole concern, and that you will make it as good of a day as you can.

We come together in an Al-Anon group for the purpose of sharing experience, strength and hope with each other: to form a community.

When I detach my mind from what is troubling me, my problems often resolve themselves. Or it may be that leaving them to God gives Him a chance to take a hand in my affairs.

When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others should live.

Can I believe that my situation is not really hopeless and that I am capable of improving it?

“I pray to God to help me understand that the alcoholic’s fate is not in my hands. I will leave to Him whatever action is to be taken.”

It isn’t so hard to believe in miracles in Al-Anon. We see such miraculous changes in people who came as newcomers, but what they learn in Al-Anon makes a tremendous difference in their own outlook.

Al-Anon principles set a pattern before me: to work on myself and to stop interfering with others. The words for the procedure are “hands off.”

The Higher Power we read about in the Twelve Steps is a spiritual idea.

It is vital to the process of lasting recovery that each member of the family actively sets healthy limits.

The problem with envy is that it focuses outside our boundaries, onto others.

Proactive people do not demand rights, they live them.

As iron sharpens iron, we need confrontation and truth from others to grow.

The Law of Motivation says this: freedom first, service second.

We must learn to respect the boundaries of others and be aware that they are making choices based on their own freedom.

One key to serenity in your life is dependent upon the ability to determine what you can and cannot change: your power in a given situation.

When we accept responsibility in our family system for the behavior of the addicted loved one, the love in our relationship is damaged.

When substance use disorder is present in the family system, we find that the law of reaping what we sow is disrupted.

A comfort zone is a beautiful place. But nothing grows there.

In the program of recovery we learn various tools for developing our spirits and they all take much practice and dedication.

Practicing mindfulness on a daily basis plays a vital role in the recreation of our lives, especially when we care for those recovering from addiction.

Acceptance is a vital part of recovery. This spiritual truth exists to remind us that at any point, we can make a decision.

Self care is often something that has been neglected within the recovering family system. How are you nourishing yourself today?

Under any circumstances, simply always do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Don’t make assumptions. Instead, find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.

Don’t take anything personally. This choice sets the stage for us to ask for what we need, respond rather than react and hold boundaries without guilt.

The first entry in our series on The Four Agreements. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

We are used to fixing, concealing, arranging and managing. It takes tremendous strength to learn to love with boundaries.

The easiest venue to begin to learn how to be of service is in the rooms of Al-Anon and other family support groups.

Humility… Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised.

Courage is key to recovery. In the realm of the spirit we learn that our lives unfold directly proportional to the amount of courage we practice.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Interestingly, when we begin to work a program of recovery, spiritual principles like unselfishness are often hardest to practice in our own homes.

Tolerance is not ability to tolerate a person or situation, it is the ability to place yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand with compassion..

We hold each other accountable and offer unending support. Love is the belonging we have to one another on this amazing journey called recovery.

Acceptance is the foundation of long lasting peace and happiness – finding it is quite another story. “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”

Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. Find the courage to be transparent in all your affairs.

Whether we feel grateful or not, it does our spirit well to bless those around us by practicing an attitude of gratitude!

The principle of brotherly love is ultimately driven to keep us in the circle of unity. Why is that important in family recovery?

Problems of the past need not concern me today. Our yesterdays have no importance except as experience in the making today more fruitful.

Now I know that the solutions rest with me. With the help of my Higher Power, I can adorn my life with comfort, serenity and enjoyment.

“God is present in all His creatures, but all are not equally aware of His presence.” I will accept His help in everything I do.

I will make this day a happy one, for I alone can determine what kind of day it will be.

Fellowship and community are two of the most important components of your personal recovery. By leaning on and learning from others, we become stronger.

It isn’t easy to grasp the Al-Anon idea of detachment. We are told to detach from the problem, not from the suffering alcoholic.

When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others should live.

I could bring myself to a brighter view of life if I weren’t always feeling sorry for myself; despair is often a mask for self-pity.

You may be tempted to engage in a series of “cover ups” for your addicted loved one, but consider this: does that enabling help them to get well?

It isn’t so hard to believe in miracles in Al-Anon. We see such miraculous changes in people who came as newcomers and are transformed by the process.

Al-Anon principles set a pattern before me: to work on myself and to stop interfering with others. The words for the procedure are ‘hands off’.

We may think of this Higher Power as God – Goodness, Power, Love, Spirit, Father, Friend. The very fact of our surrender, our humility, makes it spiritual.

The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.

The Law of Activity: It is vital to the process of lasting recovery that each member of the family actively sets healthy limits with one another.

If we are focusing on what others have or have accomplished, we are neglecting our responsibilities and will ultimately have an empty heart.

Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose and what they stand for.

It is important to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries, but that does not mean that we should avoid setting them.

“The Law of Motivation says this: Freedom first, service second.” If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation.

“Boundaries define us. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

“We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey. Regardless of how I define that Higher Power, it is here for me.”

Your attitude is the one thing you can control in every situation. “I’m not a victim of everything that happens unless I choose to see myself that way.”

Progress can be hard to recognize, especially if our expectations are unrealistically high. Don’t expect unhealthy behavior to change overnight – chip away.

Forgiveness is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. Can I identify areas I have been unwilling to let go of and that are hindering my own happiness?

I wanted to stop trying to control people and situations, and someone said that I couldn’t give up something that I didn’t have.

Is there an area of my life that I treat as though it were too important to turn over to my Higher Power? My way has seldom worked in the past.

Today, maintaining my serenity is my first priority. Have I identified important priorities for my journey to recovery today? If not, get a list going!

“Always be a work in progress.” Consider praying for an attitude of progress, not perfection, in the process of your loved one’s recovery.

Ask yourself questions to maintain your authenticity. “Has maintaining an image become more important than my emotional freedom today?”

There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family. We were normal; everything was fine!

Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs…

Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out…