The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #9: The Law of Activity
Human beings are initiators and responders. Many times we have boundary problems because we lack the initiative to propel ourselves into life. When the outside world sets limits on the child who is pushing against it, the child learns boundaries without breaking their spirits. Our spiritual and emotional well-being depends on our having this spirit. Being passive and operating with that modality never pays off especially in the family system when addiction is present. God will match our efforts but He will never do the work for us. That would be an invasion of our boundaries. He wants us to be assertive and active, seeking and knocking on the door of life. We often confuse being passive with minding our own business. It can be easy to take a giant step back and call that separation a boundary with no honest communication to a boundary being set. It is vital to the process of lasting recovery that each member of the family actively sets healthy limits with one another and clearly communicates those limits in a loving way, detaching from outcomes.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Questions to Consider This Week
- Have I experienced a lack of initiative to set healthy limits in my relationships? Am I currently under the delusion that if I put enough distance between myself and the problem that a boundary will eventually form with no action on my part?
- In the past, have I set boundaries that were never communicated to the other party?
- Has my lack of follow through with healthy limits in my relationships allowed other people to treat me in a way that conflicts with my core values?