The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #5: The Law of Motivation
The point is this: we were called into freedom and this freedom results in gratitude, an overflowing heart and love for others. To give bountifully has great reward. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive. If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation. If you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed to failure. Some of these false motives driven by fear include seeking approval, fear of abandonment, avoiding other’s anger, feelings of guilt and shame, fear of loneliness or over identifying with other’s struggles. These are all most likely present in the fabric of the family system when substance use disorder is present. It is vital to the process of healing to examine our motivation in giving. Not only does it often lead to enabling but it blocks family members from the freedom we desperately require to live healthy and happy lives. Let God work on the fears, resolve them and create healthier boundaries to guard the freedom you were called to.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Questions to Consider This Week
- Is the goal of experiencing freedom around my boundaries enticing to me? Am I currently willing to address the fears I have about my need for boundaries?
- Do I identify with being motivated by other’s approval, fear of abandonment, feelings of guilt or shame, fear of anger or loneliness? Is it possible these prevent me from addressing my need for healthy boundaries in my relationships?
- Will I commit to addressing these motivating factors with my personal therapist, support group or sponsor this week? Can I internalize the fact that if nothing changes then nothing changes and let my future freedom begin to motivate me to take necessary action?