Weekly Focal Point:
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz, Author of Four Agreements
The Four Agreements Series
Making assumptions is rooted in fear and often used to replace the need to communicate. When the mind is able to draw conclusion, real or imagined, we remove the need to ask for clarification or vocalize what we may need. The cycle of conflict unfolds as we make an assumption and then proceed to take everything personally. Most needless suffering can be found at this starting point and based in this agreement. In family recovery we learn to say what we mean and mean what we say. This is the foundation in setting aside the need to make assumptions or set others up to do the same. We learn to find our voice and honor our own truth at all costs. Setting aside the fear of judgment allows us to be intentional with our words, our actions and transform our lives.
We provide comprehensive addiction treatment, including detox, residential, intensive outpatient, aftercare, and sober living programs that work. Even people who have relapsed before, struggle with underlying co-occurring mental health disorders, or have been told they are treatment resistant, find success in our centers.
The Three C’s of Alanon
We Didn’t Cause It: Step one states, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” Addiction is a chronic disease, and there is nothing we can say or do to stop our loved ones from using or drinking
.We Can’t Control It: Step two states, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” We realize there is nothing we can do to control addiction. Instead, we seek a power greater than ourselves to rely upon, just as our loved one is doing.
We Can’t Cure It: Step three states, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” After we realize there is nothing we can do to control the addiction, we can begin putting it in the hands of our Higher Power.
Considerations for the Week
1. Am I transparent with others in communication, setting aside judgment and fear-based agreements?
2. Do I tend to make assumptions due to my fear of asking clarifying questions? Have I created an environment that makes it difficult for others to do the same?
3. Can I see there have been poor decisions made in my past circumstances based on the assumptions that I have made with others or myself?
4. Am I willing to take any assumptions into meditation, pray for the willingness to see the truth and begin practicing being clear with my own needs?
The Family Afterward Meeting
Next Family Afterward Meeting will take place, March 28, 2023 at 7 PM CST via Zoom. To join click the link below!