Weekly Focal Point
“Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose and what they stand for. Proactive people do not demand rights, they live them.”
~ Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend ~
(Authors of Boundaries)
The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #7: The Law of Proactivity
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Many of us have known people who, after years of being passive and compliant, suddenly go ballistic, and we wonder what happened. In reality, they had been complying for years, and their pent up rage explodes. Reaction phases are necessary but not sufficient for establishment of boundaries. Staying stuck in this spot can produce a victim mentality so it is paramount that we move forward to create proactive rather than reactive boundaries. When we step back from unhealthy or toxic relationships we are then able to fence our property against further invasion. We own our property lines from a position of love and respect for ourselves and others in our lives.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Am I able to separate my reactive boundaries from my proactive boundaries? Can I distinguish the difference in terms of effectiveness?
- Have I played the role of the victim when my boundaries have been violated? Does that role serve me as I move forward in the healing process of family recovery?
- Will I commit to giving myself grace I navigate the bumps in the road on this journey? Will I extend that grace to others as well?