The Law of Envy
Weekly Focal Point
“The problem with envy is that it focuses outside our boundaries, onto others.”
~ Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend ~
(Authors of Boundaries)
The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #8: The Law of Envy
What does envy have to do with boundaries? Envy is probably the basest emotion that we have as human beings. When we want what we do not have, it can destroy us. If we are focusing on what others have or have accomplished, we are neglecting our responsibilities and will ultimately have an empty heart. Boundary less people feel empty and unfulfilled. They look at another’s sense of fullness and feel envious. Envy is a self-perpetuating cycle. This time and energy needs to be spent on taking responsibility for their lack and doing something about it. We may feel frustrated about substance use disorder in our family system and wish that our relationships were full of love, respect and mutual adoration. But what actions are we taking to move in that direction and instill spiritual principles in our relationships? The people that we often envy have been wiling to take great risks to achieve those healthy relationships. They have learned to communicate honestly, set strong and clear boundaries, respect the wishes of others and be intentional in creating positive shifts in their family dynamics. Are we willing to do the same?
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Am I sometimes envious of the healthy relationships and family dynamics I see in others? Do I use that to motivate me in taking the risks to gain those things I desire?
- Can I clearly define the things that I may envy in others? What am I willing to do in order to gain those things for myself?
- Have I been willing to bring the things I envy in others (healthy relationships, strong character, sense of peace and serenity) into prayer and meditation on a regular basis?