Don’t Make Assumptions
Weekly Focal Point
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz ~
(Author of Four Agreements)
The 4 Agreements Series
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Making assumptions is rooted in fear and often used to replace the need to communicate. When the mind is able to draw a conclusion, real or imagined, we remove the need to ask for clarification or vocalize what we may need. The cycle of conflict unfolds as we make an assumption and then proceed to take everything personally. Most needless suffering can be found at this starting point and based in this agreement. In family recovery we learn to say what we mean and mean what we say. This is the foundation in setting aside the need to make assumptions or set others up to do the same. We learn to find our voice and honor our own truth at all cost. Setting aside the fear of judgment allows us to be intentional with our words, our actions and transform our lives.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Am I transparent with others in communication, setting aside judgment and fear based agreements?
- Do I have a tendency to make assumptions due to my fear of asking clarifying questions? Have I created an environment that makes it difficult for others to do the same?
- Can I see there have been poor decisions made in my past circumstances based on the assumptions that I have made with others or myself?
- Am I willing to take any assumptions into meditation, pray for the willingness to see the truth and begin practicing being clear with my own needs?