Don’t Take Anything Personally
Weekly Focal Point
“Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do and the opinions they give are according to the agreements in their own minds.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz ~
(Author of Four Agreements)
The 4 Agreements Series
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Immunity to taking things personally is the gift of this agreement. The people in your life will have opinions and feelings about who you are and in accordance with their own belief systems. That is about them and not about you. Our point of view will come from the agreements we have made in life. When our feelings are hurt or we are angry with something another person has said about us that is because they have touched on a wound that already existed within us. In family recovery it becomes paramount for us to do our own work while our loved one suffering from addiction does their own work. This allows us to own our truth and begin to set aside the need for validation or approval from others. We can break free of the bondage we have to the behavior of others. It can set the stage for us to ask for what we need, respond rather than react and hold boundaries without guilt or self-judgment.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Do I find myself often suffering needlessly when I believe that others do not approve of me or engage in behavior that is hurtful to me? Am I open to considering the possibility that their actions are about them and not at all about me?
- Will I begin to take notice of how often I decide to take things personally? How many decisions do I make based on these assumptions?
- Am I willing to take this agreement into prayer and ask my Higher Power to open my heart to the fact that what others say and do has nothing to do with me today?