Weekly Focal Point
“At first glance, it seems as if the individual who has difficulty setting limits is the one who has the boundary problem; however, people who don’t respect other’s limits also have boundary problems.”
~ Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend ~
(Authors of Boundaries)
The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #4: The Law of Respect
When addiction is present in the family system, we often focus our energy on other people and begin to lose clarity for ourselves. Learning to set new and healthy boundaries can cause fear to rise to the surface. It is easy to worry about how others may react to our boundaries or fear being rejected. But our compliance will quickly turn to resentment in our family. It becomes paramount to respect the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. This cannot be a one way street or the fear cycle will continue. We must learn to honor the boundaries of others and be aware that they are making choices based on their own freedom. In turn, we can honor our own boundaries and experience the same level of freedom.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Is it possible that if I struggle to respect someone else’s boundary that I may also be struggling to respect my own boundaries?
- Can I identify feelings of fear when setting healthy boundaries in my relationships? Does the cycle of fear keep me from honoring the values that I would like to be respected by others?
- Will I invite my Higher Power into the journey of boundary setting, asking for strength and direction to do what is necessary?