Weekly Focal Point
“Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another.”
~ Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend ~
(Authors of Boundaries)
The Ten Laws of Boundaries Series
Law #2: The Law of Responsibility
People who set limits exhibit self-control and show responsibility for themselves. This is an act of love. When we accept responsibility in our family system for the behavior of the addicted loved one, by giving in to their demands or controlling behavior, the love in our relationship is damaged. Boundaries protect the health and growth of our relationships. The most responsible behavior possible is often times the most difficult. You face a risk in setting boundaries and gaining control of your life. When you count the cost of the consequences, as difficult or as costly as they may seem, they hardly compare to the loss of your “very self”.
3 C’s of Al-Anon
- We didn’t CAUSE it
- We can’t CONTROL it
- We can’t CURE it
AND WE WON’T CONTRIBUTE TO IT TODAY
Considerations for the Week
- Can I identify ways that I have lost my sense of self while continuing to take responsibility for my loved ones life and choices?
- Is it possible that my desire to control my loved one is rooted in creating a false sense of safety for myself rather than genuinely helping my loved one?
- Am I willing to begin to step back and allow my loved one to take responsibility for their own life without interfering?