Motivation Mondays

Step Nine

Weekly Focal Point

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 83 ~

step nine

Twelve Step Series: Step Nine

Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

“Somebody once compared taking Step Nine to taking a dose of bitter medicine and then feeling wonderful afterward. It’s an exacting Step, but taking it gave us practical, realistic ways to make amends. A key word in this Step is “direct”. This helped us avoid evading the issue when we were tempted to choose the kind of amends that would be the least painful or embarrassing to us. “Wherever possible” the amends were made directly to the person we had harmed, It was up to us to decide, with scrupulous honesty, whether making direct amends was possible or not. Frankly admitting we were wrong may have mended the breach. Therefore we decided to think over even minor situations before taking any step toward redressing the wrong. With the help of other Al-Anon members, we found our likes and dislikes had nothing to do with our obligation to make amends. One of the reasons we took Step Nine was to gain peace of mind for ourselves by erasing feelings of guilt. This was, in one sense, making amends to ourselves – not to be overlooked when working with Step Nine.”

(Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, pg. 55-56)

3 C’s of Al-Anon

  1. We didn’t CAUSE it
  2. We can’t CONTROL it
  3. We can’t CURE it


***Next Family Afterward Meeting will take place on April 27th @ 7 p.m. CST via Zoom***

Considerations for the Week

  1. Do I seek the freedom that comes from humbling myself to make amends to the people in my life whom I have harmed? Will I set aside my opinions and feelings in order to clean up my side of the street?
  2. Is it possible that I owe a direct amends to my loved one regarding my attempts to control their substance use disorder and recovery process? Can I see where those attempts have not been helpful to them or myself?
  3. Am I willing to do my own work in a recovery program so my attitudes and behavior will shift, creating a healthier family dynamic for everyone involved?