When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others should live.
I could bring myself to a brighter view of life if I weren’t always feeling sorry for myself; despair is often a mask for self-pity.
You may be tempted to engage in a series of “cover ups” for your addicted loved one, but consider this: does that enabling help them to get well?
It isn’t so hard to believe in miracles in Al-Anon. We see such miraculous changes in people who came as newcomers and are transformed by the process.
Al-Anon principles set a pattern before me: to work on myself and to stop interfering with others. The words for the procedure are ‘hands off’.
We may think of this Higher Power as God – Goodness, Power, Love, Spirit, Father, Friend. The very fact of our surrender, our humility, makes it spiritual.
The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.
The Law of Activity: It is vital to the process of lasting recovery that each member of the family actively sets healthy limits with one another.
If we are focusing on what others have or have accomplished, we are neglecting our responsibilities and will ultimately have an empty heart.
Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose and what they stand for.
It is important to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries, but that does not mean that we should avoid setting them.
“The Law of Motivation says this: Freedom first, service second.” If your giving is not leading to cheer, then you need to examine the Law of Motivation.
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. Learn about the importance of respecting others’ boundaries – and establishing your own.
Using tools like the serenity prayer, we can begin to understand what we do have the power to change, and what we do not have the power to change.
“Problems arise when boundaries of responsibility are confused. We are to love one another, not be one another.”
“Boundaries define us. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”
“We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey. Regardless of how I define that Higher Power, it is here for me.”
Your attitude is the one thing you can control in every situation. “I’m not a victim of everything that happens unless I choose to see myself that way.”
Today, if I am tempted to interfere with something that is none of my business, I can turn my attention instead to some way in which I can take care of myself.
Progress can be hard to recognize, especially if our expectations are unrealistically high. Don’t expect unhealthy behavior to change overnight – chip away.
Forgiveness is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. Can I identify areas I have been unwilling to let go of and that are hindering my own happiness?
I wanted to stop trying to control people and situations, and someone said that I couldn’t give up something that I didn’t have.
Is there an area of my life that I treat as though it were too important to turn over to my Higher Power? My way has seldom worked in the past.
Today, maintaining my serenity is my first priority. Have I identified important priorities for my journey to recovery today? If not, get a list going!
“Always be a work in progress.” Consider praying for an attitude of progress, not perfection, in the process of your loved one’s recovery.
Ask yourself questions to maintain your authenticity. “Has maintaining an image become more important than my emotional freedom today?”
The word detachment is often misunderstood. For me, detachment is the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs.
There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family. We were normal; everything was fine!
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs…
Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out…
Am I connected with a group of people practicing the principles of recovery? Do I find myself growing more when I surround myself by people taking action?
Looking back, we can see how the philosophies we had during active alcoholism, and maybe even at times throughout sobriety, couldn’t serve us long term.
We have to find the assets to our defects of character and put them into action. Steps 6 and 7 are a practice we must bring into our lives every day.
The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is not only a testament to the Twelve Steps, but also a place where people who feel the same way can come together.
When we break down the cycle of addiction, we can see how the three parts of this disease lead into our sprees, consequences, and resolutions.
In a meditative state, we converse with our Higher Power and ask for direction. Through meditation that we experience growth alongside our Higher Power.
In the 10th Step we continue to take personal inventory, acknowledging when we are selfish, resentful, fearful, or dishonest.
The nightly review routine is an easy process to miss if we aren’t careful. Take a moment for yourself and prepare for tomorrow.
Throughout our time doing the work outlined in the Big Book, we are called to action. Words such as “launched”, “immediately”, and “vigorously” are written repeatedly…
The process of getting sober is about more than what we have lost or the dark places we have gone to. Though those are important experiences…